Sunday, April 8, 2012

Sometimes I feel like a fraud....

I remember sitting in my apartment at the end of December worrying about money and making a decision to not be irresponsible with my money any longer.  I had decided to take control of my out of control spending and start to build a future for myself and my family.  I had decided to blog the journey to keep myself focused and to also hold myself accountable for my actions. Fast forward 3 months, and I have been diligent about much of what I set out to do: I have set up a checkbook and I have been monitoring it and balancing it every month (no small feat), I have set up a budget and know that I can make my payments every month without being in the red, and I have set-up a plan to pay down my debt so that I can live a debt-free life.

The thing is I sit here tonight I am in the same position I was in December.  I am almost overdrawn in the checking account and worrying about money. The only difference between December and now is that I know exactly where I have spent too much money!  I am not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing but it is something.  In my line of work data is everything.  So, I will not give up. I will pick myself up and brush myself off and push forward towards my goals.

Some of my successes have been, I have paid off 3 credit cards and I have 2 more that will be done in the next 2 months.  I have set-up my checking account and created a budget.  I have shared my dreams and set my goals, so I have not completely failed I have just gotten off track.I have discovered that when I exercise I stay calmer, less anxious and more focused.  I will look to the future as a positive adventure while remaining in the present to enjoy each moment with my family.

I feel like a fraud because here I write about getting out of debt, yet I have only made a small dent in what I want to  achieve.  But I want to share that I am just an average person with very bad habits trying to change something that has taken 44 years to create and hopefully it will not take me 44 more years to break.  I want whomever reads this to know that giving up can not be an option anymore and I will face my failures and push on.

Is there hope for change when failure is such an easy option?


  1. Fall down six times rise up seven sister! This is extremely important because who knows which practice run you will 'make it' after, and I am positive you will succeed in your endeavour, it will just take time after a lifetime of bad habits. I am not great in this department either and so will walk alongside you. God Bless, Elizabeth.

    1. Thanks for the inspirational words! This blog is keeping me going. Thanks for reading.

  2. You're so much further ahead of where you were in December because you've acknowledged there was a problem, you faced it and are holding yourself accountable! It didn't take one night to into the position you were in back in December so it's going to take some time to get out. To be able to say you've paid off 3 credit cards AND 2 more will be paid off in 2 months is a reason to pat yourself on the back.

    You've got this. Hang in there!

  3. Thanks so much for the encouragement! I feel a bit better today and hope to get back on track right away. Love your screen name, I am a Jersey girl:)