Does anyone else breathe a sigh of relief when their paycheck hits the bank and you haven't bounced anything? Made it another pay period and the power, phone, and cable are still on and you have food in the house? That is me. I can not seem to get myself past "paycheck to paycheck" living. I know what to do, it just seems I lack the will power or focus to carry out the plan for any length of time. I am sure most people have this in some area of their lives: food, sex, exercise, travel what ever it is that you want to change and can't seem to reach the goal. However, every time the paycheck goes in, I go crazy and spend too much on something.
Last week was a tough week, and although I am ashamed of the following story I feel it is necessary to tell it so that everyone knows the extent of my weakness. Tuesday, the day after Labor Day I checked the bank balance and knew it was going to be a tough week. We had overspent and we had many expenses coming up this week. I thought it was under control, we would barely make it with like $5 left in the bank when my husband called to tell me the cable/internet was just shut off and we needed $ 197.00 to get it turned back on. Well, I can shut a lot of stuff out of my brain when I am at work but this became my focus for the rest of the day. By the time I left work I felt sick, tired, and depressed.
We only had 3 options that I could see, ask to borrow from my mother-in-law again, live without the items for a few weeks, or sell some jewelry I have been holding on to from my previous marriage. I decided to go with option number 3 and sell the jewelry. It did not have meaning to me, I just liked knowing I had some items of value. I was able to sell it for $ 870.00 about $ 4000.00 less than I paid for it over the years. I have to admit, this was my low point. I have never done anything like this and I did not like the feeling.
So, I thought of the book I had read many years ago and felt some hope again. I have begun to read the book again and find that although many of the principles in the book are simple, they are principles I was not living by everyday. I was doing it in short periods of time, but not with focus or conviction. So, I am going back, starting again from the beginning and reading through the book that I feel makes the most sense to me.
The first chapter in the book describes a man in a situation very similar to me, finances out of control a family not working together and a complete feeling of defeat. However, as I read I find I have hope in the fact that I can change this but it will take time (years) and there is no quick fix. So, here I go. I am excited again and that is a good feeling.
Can anyone relate?